The Light in the Darkness - Gun Violence Awareness Month
As June is upon us, my heart is heavy, my mind is tired, and my soul is weak. This month brings reminders of the most significant loss I have ever experienced.
Three years ago in June, a week or so before Father’s Day, I was told that my dad’s quality of life had been completely depleted after a tragic incident had occurred. I was tasked with making the difficult decision to withdraw my dad’s life support on June 6th. So instead of being able to celebrate Father’s Day with him, I had finished the rough draft of his eulogy that day. I could not believe life had been so unfair to me. I buried my dad on June 16th, 2021.
Fast forward to the wee hours of June 16th, 2023. In just a few hours, I would be boarding a flight for my first trip to Jamaica, which would have been my third time out of the country. You can imagine my excitement! Not only was I super excited to be vacationing in Jamaica, but I had also convinced my partner to visit the landmark of Michael Jackson’s childhood home with me, which wasn’t too far from the airport. Yes, HUGE MJ fan here! With Michael Jackson passing away on June 25th, and the 13th anniversary of his passing being a week away, I was truly on an emotional rollercoaster. I was very excited to have this experience, but very sad at the same time. Since I was driving, I had to work constantly to maintain my composure. I was anxious, fidgety, and melting at the seams the closer we got; you would have thought he was about to greet me at the front door. LOL!
I was finally getting ready to make a right turn on the street of the house! Jackson Street. Wow, the street is even named after him, this is insane! I was LITERALLY about to see the childhood home of the greatest entertainer of all time! Global superstar. The icon. The legend! When suddenly, a text message came across my phone from my sister, saying “They just killed my baby.” I couldn’t even begin to process what I had just seen and read. Couldn’t be. I had to stop the car, snatch my phone from its holder, and hope and pray that this was a terrible mistake. I was literally parked on Jackson Street when I made that dreadful call to my sister. She confirmed the worst. My nephew had been shot and killed in his home by his “friend.” I was already an emotional wreck, so this sent me into a frenzy. Despite being so close to MJ’s home, I never got the chance to see it. But it didn’t matter anymore. My sister had lost her son, her baby boy. I immediately canceled my trip to Jamaica, got on the highway, and drove three hours in utter disbelief, complete shock, and delusion, to get to my sister’s side.
Exactly three months before this happened, my dearest friend had lost her 16-year-old son as he was shot and killed execution-style by his “friend.” I won’t begin to try and explain what the next few days, weeks, or months felt like for my family and me. But have you ever lived in hell on earth?
All I wanted to do was rewind time, wake up from this horrific dream, and undo it all. I began looking for ways to help, console, and comfort. I was so eager for both my friend and sister to join Moms Demand Action, an organization I joined in 2020, after my first experience with gun violence. Moms Demand Action is a movement of Americans fighting for public safety measures that can protect people from gun violence. The majority of the women I met in the group had lost their children to gun violence, be it murder, suicide, unintentional shooting, etc. I am overjoyed and grateful to share that both my friend and sister are now members of Moms Demand Action. I believe in the true power of being in a community with folks who’ve had similar experiences.
That still didn’t stop me from thinking of ways I could continue to help. My nephew’s birthday was approaching, and I was constantly trying to think of ways his birthday could be an uplifting celebration and not such a sad occasion. With Labyrinth Made Goods having a custom candle service, I thought it would be the perfect Christmas gift for my sister to have. A memorial candle that would symbolize hope and light in such a dark time; a representation of his presence and the impact he had on the lives of those who knew him. Taking part in helping create this candle was such an honor and blessing. It was such a unique experience to do it with my coworkers. It was both supporting the work we do, all while creating a happy space for my family when we think of him. What a privilege!
My sister picked her scent and design, and with the help of our graphic design intern, Robyn, who designed the labels, they were done just in time for his birthday celebration. We were so happy to get our hands on the finished product! Our little masterpiece, in remembrance of his life and legacy.
Said all this to say, this is why gun violence awareness month is near and dear to me. More than 300 Americans a day are directly impacted by gun violence. We use June as a time to draw attention to this tragic reality, amplify the voices of gun violence survivors, and demand lifesaving change. I hope that no one will ever have to endure the pain and suffering of losing a loved one to gun violence.
In Loving Memory of Kenneth D. Lemons
